Git
I'm not sure why git is called 'the stupid content tracker' (according to the man page that is), but I've discovered that - despite many tutorials overcomplicating the setup by adding the creation of a git user account and SSH key-based authentication - it is stupidly trivial to set up a remote repository.
By stupid I mean that git does not reference any of the object files in a way that you would expect or as you are used to working with them in your locally checked-out repository or IDE.
This method of file storage threw me off and caught me off guard but I eventually managed to get the initial comit added to the remote.
I also learned that git appears to work locally, meaning you can clone on the same system that's hosting the repository using directory paths without a transport protocol!
I'm now armed with information on how private git repo hosting works, which is especially useful for interim SCM or when private hosting is required for whatever reason.